Literalist: The glass contains about 50% water.

Nihilist: The glass doesn’t matter.

Anarchist: The glass is now full of piss.

Absurdist: the glass is now upside-down without spilling the water.

Me: I don’t know who’s glass this is so it’s going in the sink.

And set them on fire when they can’t work in the gulag anymore.

Welcome to America, where you are free to fuck off and die. Here’s your bill.

Accurate. Allegedly.