Any suggestions on the best modern router this will run on?

Even worse. Games with a mysterious auto save “feature” that don’t allow a manual backup save. There’s a special place in hell for those developers.

I’ve never understood why it’s so hard to re-purpose an old android phone as a TV streaming box. I have an old One Plus that would blow the Nvidia Shield out of the water but as far as I can tell nothing exists that make that possible. It has HDMI via the USB C port but no way to add a remote and use the TV interface. The ability to sleep when the TVs CEC signal sends a power off command would also be a requirement for me.

Because then you’d really have to suck to enjoy capitalist cost cutting lemonade.