You can’t weigh the jug, because it’s in an image.

Anyone with a couple brain cells to rub together can figure out how full a physical jug of water is in a number of ways. The joke is that only an autistic person would try to produce an exact measurement based off an image.

If it were me, would’ve ended with me happily singing along with my brain, oblivious to the information I failed to retain.

“inventor” is definitely a job, if you’re already rich 🙁

think about whatever it was they were thinking about before someone came along and told them they had to earn a living.

This right here moved me. Not just because it’s so spot on, but because I don’t even remember what I was thinking about back then.

Al Qaeda: “HAHA OH SHIT I GOT YOU GOOD YOU FUCKER”

I wonder if there was a moment where he was like, “oh haha, very funny guys. Sure it just crashed into the WTC, totally.”